Dachshund Jokes - New Funny Wiener Dog Jokes

He was barking up the wrong tree

My dachshund accidently ate a whole bag of scrabble tiles. So I took him to the vet. No word yet.

Who are dachshunds favorite game show host?    Bob Barker

How does a dachshund stop a video? He hits the paws button!

Why did the dachshund sit in the shade? It didn't want to be a hot dog!

How does a dachshund answer the door? With a "barkcode" scan!

Why did the dachshund become a chef? It wanted to make the perfect hot dog!

My dachshund is badly trained as I fear the Wurst!

What do you call a dachshund who pulls on his leash? Pulled pork

Why is a dachshund like a large tree? They both have a lot of bark

Why is having a dachshund enjoyable?  Because life is wienerful!

What do you get when you cross a Dachshund, a Schnauzer, a Shih Tzu, and a Poodle?

A Wienerschnitzel.

Best Dachshund Jokes

A German Shepherd, a Labrador, and a dachshund all died and they are waiting in front of God.

God asks all the dogs what they believe in.

God asked The German Shepherd “What do you believe in?”

The German Shepherd answers: “I believe in discipline, training, and loyalty to my owner.”
“Great,” says God, “take a seat on my left side.”

“Labrador, what do you believe in?” Asks God.
The Labrador answers: “I believe in fun, play, and loving my owner.”
“Ah,” God said, “You can come sit at my right side.”

Then he looks at the dachshund: “And how about you?”
The dachshund hops up on the throne, curls up in a little ball and says, “I believe you’re in my seat!”

Dachshund Rescues

Dachshund Jokes -  Wiener Dog Laws

1. If you are eating it...it’s mine
2. If it’s in my mouth...it’s mine
3. If I saw it first...it’s mine
4. If you put it on a table..it’s mine

Dachshund Jokes - Traits
1. Must be stubborn
2. Must bark at every stranger or dog
3. Must eat all their food but pretend they haven’t eaten any and then beg for yours.
4. Must take forever to pee
5. Must be your best friend
6. Must have cuddle time on your lap
7. Must sniff every inch of the yard and dig holes everywhere
8. Must have their bellies rubbed.
9. Must ignore any command that doesn’t suit them
8. Must be loyal and love you forever

The Dachshund is commonly referred to as the "wiener dog" or "sausage dog,"

The dachshund is known for their distinctive long body and short legs.

They originated in Germany and were originally bred for hunting small game, such as badgers. 

Their elongated bodies and keen sense of smell made them well-suited for digging into burrows to hunt for prey.

The Dachshunds come in three coat varieties: smooth, long-haired, and wire-haired.

The smooth coat is short and shiny, the long-haired dachshund has a soft, flowing coat, and the wire-haired dachshund has a coarse, wiry outer coat with a softer undercoat.

The Dachshund breed's colors come in a variety of shades of red, black, chocolate, and cream.

They are known for their friendly and curious nature.

Dachshunds make loyal companions and often form strong bonds with their owners.

However, they are known to be independent and  stubborn.

Despite their small size, they are known to be courageous and not afraid of other dogs.

Dachshunds require moderate exercise and are adaptable to various living environments, making them suitable for both apartments and houses.

Their unique appearance and charming personalities have made them the number 11 most popular dogs.   With their long bodies, many people call them wiener dogs and then have many dachshund jokes because of that.

They are lovable lap dogs, but they are known to be barkers.   You must train them early and be patient as it will take some time to have them be a well-behaved dog.

Also, with their long bodies, you must be careful when picking them up and also not let them jump up and down off sofas or couches.